BennyMagoo79
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Four weeks ago today my wife dragged me into hospital. Barely able to breathe, I thought I was suffering from asthma or residual systemic inflammation after a bout of both COVID and Influenza A 3 weeks earlier. In reality, I was suffering from acute cardiomyopathy and having what emergency doctors define as a heart attack - arythmic heart function, elevated troponin (the protein secreted by the cardiac muscle as it begins to literally disintegrate) and severely reduced ejection fraction (blood in blood out ratio, mine was at 15%). The symptoms I believed were asthmatic were actually my lungs filling with fluid due to back pressure from the failing diaphragm pump that was my heart. There was no pain, just tightness and inability to breathe. I was even quite calm about it - at one point during the preceding night I thought I was having some kind of anxiety attack and spent the small hours of the morning sitting on the couch and literally meditating to try and make it pass. Opiates and benzos were administered to reduce my body's oxygen demand with IV diuretics to shed the fluid that was building up in my lungs and beginning to drown me. Within 24hrs I was feeling a lot more comfortable, and within 48hrs I could sleep lying down again. My bodyweight dropped from 113.5kg to 106.5kg in three days. My wife also lost a lot of weight.
Once stabilised, I was scanned, grammed and MRI'd, that is to say I had a CCT scan (CT scan of the heart), an angiogram (basically a CCTV inspection of arteries and heart), and n MRI (layered x-ray of the heart to generate a 3D model) to try and establish the cause of my condition. In my mind it was obvious: I'd felt poorly ever since being sick (and I was horribly sick) but I had to work 70hr weeks up north to get a job over the line and put my health to the side. I was taking prescription amphetamines (ADD drugs) and a shitload of caffeine to get through the days and knew I was burning the candle at both ends. I wasn't surprised I couldn't breathe three weeks later, just put it down to poor recovery and asthma/inflammation from overdoing it at work. My hospital doctors refused to draw any conclusions regarding the cause of my heart failure. I had fully disclosed my history of PEDs use and was told several times this had probably damaged my heart and also my endocrine system - I think they did not believe my dosage disclosure until my endocrine bloodwork came back after several days and test was high but in range, estrogens balanced, normal prolactin levels and body even still producing LH and FSH albeit at reduced levels. I wasn't shut down, my lipids were healthy, and the endocrinologist even told me based on 'natty' bloodwork from 2020 I was likely healthier for having the exogenous test in my system. He encouraged me to go cold turkey and booked me in for bloodwork and an appointment 3 weeks later (turns out, 3 weeks later my body is already producing just enough test to keep my level high enough to disqualify me from TRT).
I was prescribed basically every drug that might assist in recovery of my heart by the hospital cardiology team - I think with no solid hypothesis to the pathology of my heart failure their lowest risk option was to simply throw the kitchen sink at it. My last 5 days in hospital were basically spent trying to adapt to up-titrating dosages of reasonably toxic drugs. I was taking seven in total: two diuretics, one statin (for no good reason), one cholesterol (again, for no good reason) one diabetic drug (to shuttle glucose and sodium from blood) and two heart drugs (designed to slow the heart and assist in signaling for cardiac remodeling). Ended up back in hospital for one night two days after release severely dehydrated (I was still under fluid restriction: 1.5L/day) and suffering from the drug toxicity. The ER doctor was shocked at my prescriptions and referred me to an outpatient cardiologist who scrapped three of the drugs, and did not hide his bafflement at my original protocol.
I have been exercising since day three. In the beginning I was barely able to do one lap of the ward, twice a day. A week later I was clocking up 2km twice a day in laps. I bought a fitbit sense to keep an eye on my heartrate and have followed doctors' advice by keeping my heartrate below 100 at first, then 120 after two weeks and now 130 four weeks later. I train four times per week now, and the other day gently jogged 5.5km to keep HR between 120 and 130 for 45min. Yesterday I returned to the gym and, after 30min cardio (10min bike, 10min row & 10min treadmill jog) I did some deadlifts (3x8 with 100kg), chin ups (5x6) and cable flyes. It felt wonderful, and this morning I am blissfully sore.
Tomorrow I am getting a follow up echocardiogram to measure ejection fraction. My outpatient cardiologist is quite confident the heart failure is a result of my recent bouts with covid & influenza. He said its unlikely I wont recover at all, and possible I'll recover 100%. I really hope to see significant improvement tomorrow.
My business partner decided to abandon the business following my demise, but I've spent my recovery time strengthening relationships with my clients, quoting and winning jobs, hiring additional staff and remodeling my QA system. Ironically, we were about to turn a corner when this happened, and so my business partner's departure benefits me as I feel we are about to stat turning a decent profit. With my father's help, I have formulated a detailed business plan which I have used to secure additional funding. Suddenly motivated by necessity, and with a new perspective, I can now see a clear path to upscaling and have the contracts in place to facilitate it. This whole ordeal has changed me fundamentally - I no longer fear business failure. Maybe its the lack of stimulants, or maybe somewhere deep inside I've managed to come to terms with the visceral mortality of this experience, but either way I feel free from worrying about failing my business. I could sell my house tomorrow and squander the equity on a 12month trip around Australia if it all goes pear-shaped, and that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all.
Going forward I will be logging my physical recovery journey here. I need to keep track of my weight, and also be careful with how I train and what I eat, and I know from experience that logging is the only way I can remain disciplined in these circumstances. If my heart does not fully recover then the only way to offset it is by reducing demand upon it. I will be slowly adding more resistance training to my regime, however my main focus will remain on aerobic fitness. Presently my resting heartrate sits at around 60-62BPM. Eventually I'd like to get it down to 55. My bodyweight is 106.5kg this morning. I want to see it drop to 95kg. I will be eating lean meat, more fish, more chicken, lots of vegies of all types, and lots of fruit. Going to start tracking macros and use my fitbit as a guide to establish my maintenance.
Today I rest. Tomorrow will be Day 1.
Once stabilised, I was scanned, grammed and MRI'd, that is to say I had a CCT scan (CT scan of the heart), an angiogram (basically a CCTV inspection of arteries and heart), and n MRI (layered x-ray of the heart to generate a 3D model) to try and establish the cause of my condition. In my mind it was obvious: I'd felt poorly ever since being sick (and I was horribly sick) but I had to work 70hr weeks up north to get a job over the line and put my health to the side. I was taking prescription amphetamines (ADD drugs) and a shitload of caffeine to get through the days and knew I was burning the candle at both ends. I wasn't surprised I couldn't breathe three weeks later, just put it down to poor recovery and asthma/inflammation from overdoing it at work. My hospital doctors refused to draw any conclusions regarding the cause of my heart failure. I had fully disclosed my history of PEDs use and was told several times this had probably damaged my heart and also my endocrine system - I think they did not believe my dosage disclosure until my endocrine bloodwork came back after several days and test was high but in range, estrogens balanced, normal prolactin levels and body even still producing LH and FSH albeit at reduced levels. I wasn't shut down, my lipids were healthy, and the endocrinologist even told me based on 'natty' bloodwork from 2020 I was likely healthier for having the exogenous test in my system. He encouraged me to go cold turkey and booked me in for bloodwork and an appointment 3 weeks later (turns out, 3 weeks later my body is already producing just enough test to keep my level high enough to disqualify me from TRT).
I was prescribed basically every drug that might assist in recovery of my heart by the hospital cardiology team - I think with no solid hypothesis to the pathology of my heart failure their lowest risk option was to simply throw the kitchen sink at it. My last 5 days in hospital were basically spent trying to adapt to up-titrating dosages of reasonably toxic drugs. I was taking seven in total: two diuretics, one statin (for no good reason), one cholesterol (again, for no good reason) one diabetic drug (to shuttle glucose and sodium from blood) and two heart drugs (designed to slow the heart and assist in signaling for cardiac remodeling). Ended up back in hospital for one night two days after release severely dehydrated (I was still under fluid restriction: 1.5L/day) and suffering from the drug toxicity. The ER doctor was shocked at my prescriptions and referred me to an outpatient cardiologist who scrapped three of the drugs, and did not hide his bafflement at my original protocol.
I have been exercising since day three. In the beginning I was barely able to do one lap of the ward, twice a day. A week later I was clocking up 2km twice a day in laps. I bought a fitbit sense to keep an eye on my heartrate and have followed doctors' advice by keeping my heartrate below 100 at first, then 120 after two weeks and now 130 four weeks later. I train four times per week now, and the other day gently jogged 5.5km to keep HR between 120 and 130 for 45min. Yesterday I returned to the gym and, after 30min cardio (10min bike, 10min row & 10min treadmill jog) I did some deadlifts (3x8 with 100kg), chin ups (5x6) and cable flyes. It felt wonderful, and this morning I am blissfully sore.
Tomorrow I am getting a follow up echocardiogram to measure ejection fraction. My outpatient cardiologist is quite confident the heart failure is a result of my recent bouts with covid & influenza. He said its unlikely I wont recover at all, and possible I'll recover 100%. I really hope to see significant improvement tomorrow.
My business partner decided to abandon the business following my demise, but I've spent my recovery time strengthening relationships with my clients, quoting and winning jobs, hiring additional staff and remodeling my QA system. Ironically, we were about to turn a corner when this happened, and so my business partner's departure benefits me as I feel we are about to stat turning a decent profit. With my father's help, I have formulated a detailed business plan which I have used to secure additional funding. Suddenly motivated by necessity, and with a new perspective, I can now see a clear path to upscaling and have the contracts in place to facilitate it. This whole ordeal has changed me fundamentally - I no longer fear business failure. Maybe its the lack of stimulants, or maybe somewhere deep inside I've managed to come to terms with the visceral mortality of this experience, but either way I feel free from worrying about failing my business. I could sell my house tomorrow and squander the equity on a 12month trip around Australia if it all goes pear-shaped, and that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all.
Going forward I will be logging my physical recovery journey here. I need to keep track of my weight, and also be careful with how I train and what I eat, and I know from experience that logging is the only way I can remain disciplined in these circumstances. If my heart does not fully recover then the only way to offset it is by reducing demand upon it. I will be slowly adding more resistance training to my regime, however my main focus will remain on aerobic fitness. Presently my resting heartrate sits at around 60-62BPM. Eventually I'd like to get it down to 55. My bodyweight is 106.5kg this morning. I want to see it drop to 95kg. I will be eating lean meat, more fish, more chicken, lots of vegies of all types, and lots of fruit. Going to start tracking macros and use my fitbit as a guide to establish my maintenance.
Today I rest. Tomorrow will be Day 1.
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not sure how training will look. Got some timber on the midriff to shift
